Holding Space for Grief: Saying Goodbye to My Best Friend
Grief doesn’t wait for the final goodbye to begin. It starts in the quiet moments of knowing what’s ahead—in the bittersweet realization that your time together is drawing to a close.
For nearly 13 years, my dog has been my constant companion. More than just a pet, he’s been my confidant, my rock, my teacher, and my best friend. Together, we’ve shared a life full of laughter, comfort, and unconditional love. Now, as I prepare to help him transition peacefully, I’m holding space for the heartache of letting go—and the gratitude for all he’s brought to my life.
This journey isn’t easy, but it’s teaching me about the complexities of grief, love, and how to honor both.
Grief That Begins Before the Goodbye
The term “anticipatory grief” describes the mourning that happens when you know a loss is coming. It’s a strange, liminal space—grieving for what’s not yet gone but already feels so close.
I’ve noticed this anticipatory grief isn’t just about losing my dog. It’s pulling at the threads of every loss I’ve ever experienced. It’s as though this goodbye is stirring up a well of memories, emotions, and unhealed places in my heart.
At first, I didn’t understand why I was feeling waves of sadness tied to people and pets I lost long ago. But I’ve come to realize grief isn’t a singular experience. It’s cumulative, layered, and deeply tied to love. Each loss is connected, a part of the same tapestry of our lives.
Honoring Love Through Grief
As painful as this process is, I’m choosing to see it as an act of love. Grieving my dog—both now and in the days to come—is a testament to how much he means to me. It’s not something to rush through or fix but rather a way of honoring the connection we’ve shared.
In the midst of this journey, I’ve found some practices that are helping me hold space for my emotions while cherishing the time we have left. I want to share these with you, in case they might bring you comfort during your own experiences with loss.
Ways to Cope and Create Meaning
Celebrate the Present Moment:
These final weeks are an opportunity to celebrate the life you’ve shared. I’m making a point to slow down and savor the small joys—his wagging tail, the way he rests his head on my lap, his favorite treats. Each moment feels like a gift, and I’m soaking them in with gratitude.Create a Ritual of Reflection:
Every evening, I sit quietly with my dog and reflect on a memory from our time together. Sometimes it’s a funny story, like the time he “helped” me garden by digging up my hard work. Other times, it’s a moment of comfort he gave me on a tough day. These reflections are helping me celebrate his life and prepare my heart for the goodbye.Acknowledge Anticipatory Grief:
It’s okay to grieve before the loss happens. Allow yourself to feel the sadness, anger, or fear without judgment. Grief doesn’t have to wait until the end—it’s part of the process of loving and letting go.Write a Letter to Your Pet:
Writing a letter to your pet can be a powerful way to express your love and gratitude. I’ve started writing down the things I want him to know: how much he’s meant to me, the joy he’s brought to my life, and the lessons I’ll carry forward because of him.Build a Memory Box:
Gather photos, keepsakes, and written memories to celebrate your pet’s life. Having something tangible to look back on can bring comfort in the days and years to come.Seek Support:
Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Share your feelings with friends or family, or connect with a community of people who understand the unique bond we share with our pets.
Lessons in Love and Loss
What I’ve come to understand is that grief is a bridge between love and loss. It’s a reflection of how deeply we’ve cared and how much our loved ones have impacted our lives.
Losing my dog will break my heart, but I know the love we’ve shared is something I’ll carry with me forever. It’s okay to cry, to laugh at the memories, and to feel a complicated mix of emotions all at once. Grief isn’t linear—it’s a process, one that reminds us how deeply we’re capable of loving.
Moving Forward, Gently
When the time comes to say goodbye, I hope to do so with the same love and care he’s shown me every day of his life. And as I navigate the days ahead, I remind myself to be patient—with the grief, with the healing, and with myself.
To my sweet Monte boy: thank you for being my rock, my teacher, and my greatest source of joy. You’ve shown me how to love unconditionally, and for that, I will always be grateful.
